Slight Allowance of Silence

i've been here many times
looking out at my hometown
city lights penetrating the purpling sky like sex
one that willfully violates my renewing innocence
everything like burning embers in a fire pit

somehow i'm connected and aware
in the presence of all things absent
thought feeling spirit
all of everything combined
the pulsing lights and piercing city streets
veins to my newly defined vision

i can't help but dream of the last time
i killed myself and didn't seek rebirth
but here i am infantile and wise
absorbed into the brisk air
fading into a small, slight allowance of silence
floating like darkness in a mirror