i lie

alone

i lie

as though seeking rebirth in my mindless meditation

eyes staring into the ceiling

as though trying to fertilize the heavens for personal revival



futile

it appears

i've been to this place before

invisible to my best attempts to see me

daft to what i know is wise

entertaining enlightenment

long enough to notice it vanish



i looked in the mirror

for hours this morning

naked like a shadow

forgotten to my wandering eyes

hidden like energies that bleed life

behind the skin

and yet they allow me to rise

for these moments

and only these moments



what is it that allows fire to burn in those too blind to prevent soot and ash?



careful i am and careful i die



while i remain trapped

seeking meaning in a world

relentlessly random

as though the thoughts that bounce off my bedroom walls

will return to me as reflections

and allow me to discover what i seek in mirrors