Slight Allowance of Silence

i meet him at the thought of ritual
where i move to
an incomplete melody

i beg him for the moment when sound
strikes the ear
and my thoughts drift as though
they never occurred
like an invisible sun flare piercing its nearest satellite
and whose energy reaches the
outer limits of atmosphere
and influences the way nature
contemplates movement and change

patience, he tells me
awareness breeds sight and
only blindness allows
a space for sensation

i grab the beads he offers
and i rattle them in my hand
and feel command
as though i hold a hundred
small thunderstorms

i know i do not belong here
and i know i haven't realized
the place i imagined
and i know the goal of journey
but somehow i find peace
in silence -- in holding something i can't touch
and fragments of speech
and languages i can't speak

i find peace in broken words
and poems without focus
purpose

i still see miles of
uncharted sound
i suddenly don't want to touch
but i want to dance to its memory
its energy

i want to fly on a sky made of sand
to remind me of my origin
to remind me he doesn't and can't exist
and that god is only a travel companion
and that peace
drifts on its own terms